


Party Favours

by kirana



Series: Supah Sekrit Christmas in July [7]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Christmas, Futurefic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-25
Updated: 2006-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-21 03:56:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1536626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirana/pseuds/kirana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lionel doesn't like party favours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Party Favours

        "No, seriously, do I have to be nice to your dad?"

        Lex laughed as he finished tying his date's tie. "It's the polite thing to do," he replied and laughed again at the glare it got him.

        "But he's evil!" Clark tired. "As a force for good, it's my _duty_ to be rude to him!"

        "No, it's your duty to rise above such petty things," Lex corrected. He raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what you did with me?"

        "It's not the same," Clark said sulkily. "I _love_ you and, besides, it's not like you've been particularly evil lately."

        "Yeah," Lex said dryly. "Between the sex, trying to keep LexCorp alive—never mind evil—and even more sex, there's not a lot of time available to be evil." He ran his fingers through Clark's hair, 'artfully' ruffling it.

        Clark smacked his hand away gently. "Told you you weren't getting enough," he said, grinning smugly.

        Lex shook his head as he and Clark left the penthouse. "I _was_ ," he insisted. "Forgive me for settling for the _human_ level of 'enough'."

        Clark blew a raspberry at him. "Oh, hey, what did you think of the book?" he asked, unrepentantly changing the subject.

        Lex rolled his eyes, but let him get away with it. "it kept my attention," he admitted. Clark preened. "However," Lex stressed with a half-hearted glare, "you never said what the villain looked like."

        Clark smiled seraphically. "I didn't, did I."

        "Well?" Lex asked, only the slightest hint of impatience colouring his voice. He stabbed the button to close the elevator doors.

        "Well . . . ." At the whole-hearted glare, Clark held his hands up in surrender. "okay, okay." he paused for a moment. "Okay. I see him as . . . tall. Distinguished-looking. not as tall as _me_ , of course—"

        "Who is?" Lex put in.

        "—but enough," Clark continued, "to tower intimidatingly over his minions."

        "Yes, fine. And what else?"

        Clark slanted a look at him, mischief clear in his eyes. "What do you mean, what else?"

        Lex gestured wildly. "His hair! His features! Give me something to work with here!"

        "Um . . . . Okay, then , his hair. It's . . . full, despite his age, thick and wavy and as rich as the rest of him."

        There was a long moment of silence. Then . . . .

        "Clark," Lex said slowly. "Clark, did you write my _father_ as the villain of your book?!"

        "His last name isn't Luthor," Clark said brightly. "Besides, it's not like he's ever going to read it."

        "Only because he won't know it's about him!" God, if he'd had any hair, he would be pulling it out _right now_. Why was _he_ the evil one in their relationship. Clark, that moniker belonged to Clark. "Clark, we're going to have to sit down and have a discussion about Mary-Sues. Soon."

        "I didn't have anyone called Mary-Sue in my book!" Clark protested innocently. Too innocently. Lex's eyes narrowed.

        "You know _exactly_ what I mean, Clark."

        Clark grinned. "Shouldn't it be 'Gary-Stu', then?" he teased. "And _you_ only know about it because of your ongoing obsession with Warrior Angel. Yeah, you're sooooo evil."

        "Do I mock your hobbies?" Lex protested.

        "Frequently," was the dry response.

        "Well, maybe I do," Lex conceded as they exited the building, "but who of the two of us is capable of building death rays, hmmm?"

        "We both are," Clark said with a grin. "Just because I don't do it doesn't mean I don't know how." he ushered Lex into the waiting limo before folding himself in.

        Lex indulged in some sulking on the drive. Clark, well-used to his partner's moods, left him alone, although the grin on his face suggested he was still going to get Lex for it.

        Sure enough, just as he was going to exit the limo, Lex found Clark's hand on his arm.

        "What now?"

        "Lex, can I be nice to your dad?" Clark asked earnestly.

        Lex's mouth dropped open. "Wha—? Of course you can be nice to him, Clark! He's practically your father-in-law! Just," he added, "be careful, okay? Don't believe everything he says."

        "Thanks, Lex!" Clark said with a cheerfulness that seemed out of place, even for a Christmas party. _Especially_ for a business Christmas party. Lex considered trying to get to the bottom of it, but they still had the gauntlet of paparazzi to go through. He let it drop.

        For the moment.

***

        "You know, Lex, you just might want to rein in your boyfriend," Bruce said with a ghost of a smirk.

        Lex lifted an eyebrow. "Why? Is he demolishing the canapes again?"

        "No, his plate's still full from his last assault," Bruce replied dryly. "Dare you to turn around and take a look."

        Lex's other eyebrow rose. "A dare, Bruce? Tell me, are you feeling all right?"

        Whatever situation Bruce's dare was about was keeping his attention on it. "I'm perfectly fine," was the answer. "Your father may be suffering from indigestion, though."

        Lex grinned sharply and drawled, "What the old man dishes out, he's more than able to take in." He turned around anyway. "Bruce, what am I supposed to be seeing here? My father does not seem to be suffering from any sort of digestive complaint."

        "That's because your partner's on the other side of that tree Lionel's hiding behind." Bruce chuckled, an unbelievable occurrence. "As if that will help."

        Sure enough, Clark—trying so obviously to look casual—'wandered' around the tree and did an almost credible double-take.

        "Lionel!" he said loudly. "There you are! Where have you been? I told you I was going to be right back, but then you were gone!"

        "I thought I'd heard you were here with _Lex_ Luthor," on of the group Lionel had tried to take refuge in said with a hint of maliciousness.

        But Clark waved away that concern even as he draped an arm over Lionel's shoulders. "Of _course_ I'm with Lex," Clark said. "Which is exactly why I was keeping Lionel company. He's my father-in-law! At least, the closet thing I'll have to one," he amended. "And it's my familial _duty_ , by law or by blood! I couldn't leave poor Lionel to the _wolves_ , could I?"

        The look on Lionel's face was worth every minute of growing up with him as a father. Lex watched with unmitigated glee as Lionel tried—first covertly and then, when it didn't work, overtly—to remove Clark's arm from around his shoulders.

        "Clark," Lionel began, "I am more than capable of tak—"

        "But it's Christmas, Papa Lionel!" Clark protested, dropping his arm back across Lionel's shoulders and pulling him in for a hug. The bug-eyed look Lionel was sporting was very becoming. "My mom would have my _hide_ if I let a member of the family down by not being there when they _needed_ me!"

        "Yes, and as to tha—"

        "Why, she wouldn't let me have second helpings," Clark continued, running right over whatever Lionel had been trying to say. "And I _know_ you've tasted her food, Papa Lionel, so you _know_ I can't get her mad at me."

        "Clark, may I remind you I was running my own business when you were still in _diapers_?" Lionel managed to ask acidly.

        Clark hugged him close again. "Of course you were," he said as if soothing a particularly derange person. "But that was a long time ago, wasn't it?"

        "It was _yesterday_!" Lionel all but shrieked.

        Clark ignored that. "You're not getting any younger, either, which is why I'm here to _help_ you navigate the complicated social interactions of a business party." He puffed out his chest proudly. "After all, you're my dad-in-law!"

        "All right," Lex conceded, turning away from the fascinating sight of Clark slowly, but surely, ripping Lionel's hard-earned image to shreds. "That _was_ something to see."

        Bruce regarded him thoughtfully. "And you're not going to rescue him?" he asked. He didn't specify which 'he' he was referring to, but he could hardly mean anyone but Lionel. After all, it wasn't as if _Clark_ was in any danger.

        Lex grinned and shook his head. "Didn't you hear?" he asked silkily. "My father's been running his own business since I was in diapers! Surely, such an old, old man, _steeped_ in guile, would have no problems escaping any situation he didn't like."

        "No one else is going to help him," Bruce remarked.

        "Of course they're not," Lex said scornfully. "They're having too much fun watching _Lionel Luthor_ run away from his son's boytoy from Hicksville. All right, I did your dare, what's the prize?"

        "The liberating feeling of yet again facing up to challenges?"

        "Ha. Try again, Wayne."

***

        "So, did you have fun being nice to my father?" Lex murmured as they met up to leave for home.

        Clark froze for a minute, then laughed. "Sure did," he agreed. "I guess you saw, then?" At Lex's nod, he laughed again. "Yeah, guess I _was_ being pretty loud. And you didn't rescue him?" Once again, he ushered Lex into the limo before him.

        This time, it was Lex who laughed. "He deserved every minute of it," he said, defending his actions, "and more, besides. After all, _he_ was the one doing business when you and I were in diapers, wasn't it? I figured he could take care of himself."

        Clark raised an eyebrow. "And the bets you made with Bruce had nothing to do with it," he said rather than asked. "Did you even win?"

        "Of course I won," Lex said smugly. "I _always_ win."

        Clark eye him skeptically. "Uh-huh. And what did you win?"

        Lex's eyes glinted. I won a certain superhero a Christmas vacation," he said. "Congratulations, Clark, Batman has kindly volunteered to take over your shifts on Christmas Eve _and_ Christmas Day. "He paused for a moment. "Did you want Boxing Day, too? Your mom might want to do some shopp— Whoa!"

        He had been dragged across the limo onto Clark's lap. And hugged. Tightly. "Clark—! Can't . . . breathe!"

        "You're evil," Clark pronounced, loosening his grip only enough to allow Lex room to breathe.

        "I'm immobile, too," Lex said hopefully, obviously trying to talk his way out of the aggressive show of emotion.

        "Yeah, it keeps you right where I want you," Clark said comfortably, playfully tickling Lex's ear with his tongue. he grinned when Lex tried to jerk his head away. "After all, who would I share all those awkward, emotional moments with if I didn't keep hold of you?"

        "My father?" Lex suggested. "After all, he's _family_ and you have a familial _duty_ to him, Clark."

        Clark considered that. "Nah," he said. "Your dad has an even more desperate aversion to awkward, emotional moments than you do. Nope, sorry, Lex, looks like you're stuck with this one."

        Lex sighed. "Fine," he said, trying to sound as if he were being seriously imposed on. "I _suppose_ I can handle an awkward emotional moment, seeing as it's Christmas. But," he added quickly. "Just _one_."

        "Just one, huh? Well, if that's all I can get . . . ." Clark lowered his voice seductively and whispered into Lex's ear, "I think we should have this awkward, emotional moment in our bed, don't you?"

        "If we must," Lex managed to say.

        "Oh, I think we must. And I think the cuffs will be needed, too," Clark murmured reflectively. "You promised me on whole moment and I'm going to stretch it out as loooong as I can. After all, I have two long days off I'll just have to find some way of using, hmmmm?"


End file.
